What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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