That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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