I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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