Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
