you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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