i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize