And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
