my sisters under your porch take her home
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
