Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
