Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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