No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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