i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I looked at my own cervix.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
