There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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