I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
