you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize