this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
