After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
