I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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