I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
