I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
