That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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