"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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