i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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