bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
