; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
