I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
