she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
