Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
