Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
