I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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