the condom got lost in my hair
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Green mimosas i think yes
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
wow bdsm is so cute
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
