it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
