Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
