College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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