Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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