Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
