Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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