i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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