you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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