false alarm. still invincible.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
