god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
