So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
