i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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