Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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