no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize