Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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