living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Randomize
