i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
