dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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