standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
3pm strippers are depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize