I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
