u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
