I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize