Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
