If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
