I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
