Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
