Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
